Hey! We’re psyched that you’re coming out to the cottage. It’s up the Valley a ways in small-town Ontario– it’s not hard to get to town, you just follow the highway, but you’ll need directions to get from town to the cottage. Don’t worry, there are only really four turns. Simple.
Once you get into town, drive through towards the back way ‘round. Start looking for the turn after you pass the gas station that usually isn’t a gas station. It’s not easy to see, so get ready for it once there aren’t any more houses on your right. Turn at the clearing where the woodstove showroom used to be.
Keep on going down that road until you get to the truck access sign that’s behind a tree. You might need to get right up next to it to see it. Turn left.
You’re eventually going to come to a fork. If you turn right, you end up on the farm road, so don’t go that way. Take the fork a little to the left – at the mile gate. There’s no gate there now, and it’s not quite a mile from the cottage, but you know what I mean.
You’ll know you’re on the right road when you pass the spot where the rubber ducks used to hang out. Where that big tire was? No? Look for the weird new scarecrow; that’s how you tell you’re at the right spot.
Okay, the next turn is a left, and it should be super obvious – there’s a sign with our name on it near the bottom of the signpost. If you can’t see it because the grass has grown up around it, just don’t go down the road to the boat launch. As long as you’re keeping the clearing full of inukshuks and stone piles on your left as you make the turn, you’re fine.
No, there’s nothing fancy at this point. You can just look for the number. I know, we never used to have street numbers – makes it almost comically simple. Just be aware that the number jumps by 8 from the one before us to us. No, there’s nobody on the other side of the street. It’s just the way the county did it.
Make sure you park on the right side, or you’ll wake up to find your car fallen into the septic tank.
Anyway, we’ll see you soon. Let us know if you have any problems finding the place.
Best set of instructions I’ve ever read LMAO!!